(Editor’s note: Links in this story that are not safe for work are marked NSFW.)

UNIVERSAL CITY, California — It’s the ultimate revenge of the nerds as product developers use their big brains to create sex machines that kick pleasure into overdrive. In fact, the very nature of the sex “toy” is changing as a new generation of sex-positive engineers infiltrates the industry.

From the smooth, silent glide of the Monkey Rocker Tango to Le Chair’s ability to put two people into a dozen compromising positions, the new products and prototypes unveiled at this week’s Adult Novelty Expo straddle the line between toy (a passive, frivolous object) and machine (a substantial apparatus that inspires commitment and even emotional attachment).

Here are some of the most interesting.

Power Bullet

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The gigantic Power Bullet gives you the stealth option, because it doubles as a muscle massager and hides its complex machinery inside a velvety, matte-black cylinder. It wouldn’t be out of place in a Pilates studio or a physical therapist’s office for people to roll up and down their quadriceps, but straddling it on a pillow is going to be a lot more effective at relaxing muscles and relieving stress. Its motors provide a deep throbbing touch and its single button offers a simplicity much appreciated by tired tech workers with wrist pain. I’m just sayin’.

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Imatah

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As you can see in this photo, Imatah spokesmodel Danka takes the machine’s debut very seriously. That’s a custom-made dildo mounted on a plate connected to a mechanism that can pump straight in and out or move in an oval pattern. The Imatah weighs about 5 pounds and comes with a fabric sleeve that hides its legs and prevents the machine from falling off the bed when you use it.

“The machine becomes part of you!” gushes inventor James Hatami, who is working with Fleshlight (NSFW) to add functionality for male users. The Imatah requires only a 12-volt power supply “so you don’t electrocute yourself,” Hatami says.

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Monkey Rocker

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The original Monkey Rocker (NSFW) is an amazing cybersex accessory, a silent machine that responds to your body motions without any complicated control panels or need for batteries. It’s handmade from powder-coated, 100 percent recovered and recycled wood fiber — PermaCore MDF, if you want to get technical — and supports up to 400 pounds.

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Monkey Rocker Tango

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The new Monkey Rocker Tango brings the cybersex experience offline — when you meet your online lover in person, you can both ride it at the same time (as long as your combined weight is less than 450 pounds). The Tango also works for folks who skip the whole cybersex thing and just have a regular ol’ fashioned, in-person relationship. (Weird!)

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Le Chair

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In a surprise departure from its inexpensive signature collections from porn stars and sex therapists, an upcoming robotic sex chair from California Exotic Novelties (NSFW) is based on love furniture already available in Japan.

This prototype, called Le Chair, comes with motors in the seat and back supports that can pound, vibrate or stroke. One seat adjusts up and down to place lovers in optimal positions for various intimate activities, and both sides provide arm and leg support as well. A representative confided that the company plans to work with programs to help get Le Chairs to war veterans wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan at low or no cost.

At right, we have Le Chair with people in it, to give you an idea of its scale. For this picture, we have raised one seat and reclined its back support. If the woman were to lie back, her pelvis would be positioned conveniently for her partner’s mouth. The target audience for Le Chair is “adventurous people” and “people with physical limitations,” says California Exotic Novelties, although of course it’s fun for everyone.

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Menage-A-Tool

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I’m convinced that the man who goes by “Preston Penobscott” developed the Menage-A-Tool (NSFW) simply as an excuse to spend more time in his machine shop, machining things. The tool is an adjustable, lightweight rod with two attachments for various dildos, so you can penetrate two people at a time and still have one hand free for someone else.

“The next one’s gonna be hydraulic,” he enthuses, already sketching out how he wants to make the new version even more adjustable so the dildos can go closer together for double penetration or further apart if whatever you’re doing requires more space between your partners.

See you in a fortnight,

Regina Lynn

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Regina Lynn is the author of Sexier Sex: Lessons From the Brave New Sexual Frontier. She blogs at reginalynn.com.

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