 |
User: Login |
Weblog covering digital business
Digital Business, Live From New York. |
| Address URL | http://www.alleyinsider.com/ Registered: 22-Mar-2008 |
| Ads: | |
 Send to email | Want the Easiest Job in the World? Be a Bank CEO! in General |  By Silicon
el 22-Apr-2008 |
kenthompson.jpg: Paste this image in your site, Myspace, Facebook, Ebay copy this code...
 Looking for a cushy job with great pay and low responsibility? Be a bank CEO!
Here's how it works:
* Take job after an economic downturn, when your predecessor is forced out after presiding over the loss of billions in bad-debt and trading write-offs (don't worry, your predecessor won't starve in retirement).
* Immediately take huge additional write-offs and reserves and blame them on your predecessor. Clean up balance sheet so your performance bar is so low you could fall over it.
* Announce "new era" in which Your Bank will focus on conservative, fee- and spread-based businesses in which you will grow steadily and prudently.
* Sit in your chair for two years while economic recovery (and your earlier write-offs) deliver strong earnings to the bottom line.
* Smile for the cameras. Have PR people place Fortune cover story entitled "The Wizard Who Turned Around [Your Bank"]
* Renegotiate contract extension from position of strength. Include new provisions that tie your comp directly to earnings and stock performance.
* Announce that, given the huge opportunities in the markets, Your Bank will take a bit more risk (prudent, of course) to improve return on equity.
* Encourage your traders to make huge bets.
* Sit in your chair for three years and collect at least $50 million a year during rest of bull market while those bets pay off.
* When market finally turns (sorry, it always does), briefly deny that the downturn will affect Your Bank.
* When it's clear that your traders were just bull-market geniuses and have gambled away all the "profits" Your Bank booked in the previous three years and more, blame them and express disappointment. Then hang around to see whether market cares.
* If market demands resignation, resign, collect $500 million severance, and join private equity firm.
* If market yawns, re-up for another cycle and do it all over again!
See Also: Time For Lousy Bank CEOs To Step Down
Read 7 times
|
|
 |
 | Nerdblog |  Blogger | Provides news about hardware, software, notebooks, laptops, PCs, Mac, PDAs
Nerdblog.Net |
| Nerdblog | Blogger | Provides news about hardware, software, notebooks, laptops, PCs, Mac, PDAs
Nerdblog.Net |
| Nerdblog | Blogger | Provides news about hardware, software, notebooks, laptops, PCs, Mac, PDAs
Nerdblog.Net |
| Jodrell Bank spared the chop | | Sci-Tech Facilities Council sees sense
The UK’s celebrated Jodrell Bank has been granted a reprieve by the Science and Technology Facilities Council (STFC), the BBC reports.
TheRegister [..] Read complete article | | Published 09-Jul-2008 by Nerdblog in General
Read 0 times. More hits in   |
|
| Nerdblog | Blogger | Provides news about hardware, software, notebooks, laptops, PCs, Mac, PDAs
Nerdblog.Net |
| Nokia Mobile Themes | | Symbian Themes designed and developed by the best Nokia theme artist to date Chaos Inc. with free mobile games and applications all for free download. All themes are certified and signed. Themes are licensed under a CC License for free use. Nokia Symbian Themes Nokia Symbian Mobile Themes, Games & Applications by Chaos Inc. |
| Posh Red | Nokia Mobile Theme Download | | Ahoy everyone! Being fabulous? It’s been way too long since I released any of my themes. Don’t blame me! I just got busy with work! Ah well! I joined a new company for work, it’s a prestigious bank of Bangladesh called the Eastern Bank Ltd. Hence, I couldn’t find time to design anything new. However, [...] [..] Read complete article | | Published 13-Jun-2008 by Chaos Inc. in
Read 5 times. More hits in |
|
| Nerdblog | Blogger | Provides news about hardware, software, notebooks, laptops, PCs, Mac, PDAs
Nerdblog.Net |
| The Learned Man | Blogger | Covering research, news, and trends in instructional technology and e-Learning. Connecting the Indian e-Learning industry to the rest of the training and development world.
The Learned Man! |
| Game Based Learning At ICICI Bank | | Mint recently carried an interesting article about ICICI Bank's new hires using game based learning developed by TATA Interactive Systems to come upto speed on processes like queue management, cheque clearing (operations), cheque payment across the counter, and savings accounts.... [..] Read complete article | | Published 15-Mar-2008 by The Lear in General
Read 16 times. More hits in |
|
| Nerdblog | Blogger | Provides news about hardware, software, notebooks, laptops, PCs, Mac, PDAs
Nerdblog.Net |
| Nerdblog | Blogger | Provides news about hardware, software, notebooks, laptops, PCs, Mac, PDAs
Nerdblog.Net |
| HSBC Denies Rumors of Company-wide iPhone Switch |  Rumors have been flying around for the past week with regards to a huge move over at HSBC. The global bank was supposedly toying with the idea of ditching its BlackBerrys and deploying roughly 200,000 shiny new iPhone 3Gs to employees around the world. Version 2.x of the iPhone software has some great new features [...]
[..] Read complete article | | Published 20-Aug-2008 by Zach Epstein in AppleBlackBerryNewsRIMhsbciphone 3g
Read 1 times. More hits in |
|
| Nerdblog | Blogger | Provides news about hardware, software, notebooks, laptops, PCs, Mac, PDAs
Nerdblog.Net |
|
Warning We are not responsible of information posted from external feeds. Use this website at your own risk.
Notice: We will not be liable for any direct or indirect loss or damage arising under this disclaimer or in connection with our website, whether arising in tort, contract, or otherwise.
|
|
| |
Hello, Guest
Online: 194 visitors
+ fotos
